"Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure. "

George Edward Woodberry

I have had a very hard day today. I was getting pestered left and right by my parents for starters. I woke up with horrible cramps, nausea, tiredness, and soreness. Immediately my mom told me to get up and the nagging starts. Then I ate and after that my dad wouldn't let me finish like two minutes of my show because I had to start studying. I HATE STUDYING. It's horrible. I know I want to be an entertainer nothing else. But then there's segway into my next thing. Dance class. I have been going everyday 4 hours each day. For about a month on and off. And I don't feel like I've improved! Plus this guy in there doesn't even notice me and I see him basically everyday. And thats when it occurred to me. Right now, I am a nobody. To people I am not interesting, pretty, a good dancer, a cool person, I have the personality of a dork, I am someone they could care less about. No one looks at me and says "I want to be her." And I don't know... its complicated. THENNNN I feel like I lost a best friend tonight. We had a fight but just like all my other friends I have lost, they seem like the couldn't care less. She had people over when we had a conversation on the phone and she kept laughing and stuff and it was like, I was in such a painful position at that point and she totally just made me feel worse. I know thats not what friends do. But honestly it seems like she could give a fuck about our friendship or me in general. And that makes me feel so just gross... OH well... at least I have Aurora.

For now.